It has been quiet a while since I last blogged on here. Alot has happened but not much that is worthy of me spending my time blogging about it. But over the last few months everything from my health and my son's hasn't been great and then there is the car and the 800 dollars I have poured into it and trouble it had caused in getting around of course. Then SRS finally decided to investigate my son's old daycare center and the abuse I reported a few months ago.
Yes, my son was abused at ELF Childcare Center Inc. They didn't do anything about it and in fact promoted it everyday. There was something every day that he did and they lied about most of it. My son is potty trained but when we were at that center he was wetting his pants no less then twice a day and was scared to sleep by himself or be in the dark. I never saw any physical signs of abuse but the emotional problems and the constent issues with behavior lead me to see a therapist to help me deal with the issues. But instead of meeting with my son, she decided we needed to work on me first. Totally out of my comfort zone, I don't ever put myself first. It is always my son who I think about and take care of. But I am keeping an open mind and actually allowing myself the time to take care of myself. Hopefully through it all I will finally four years later lose the baby weight and keep up on my tanning keeping me from having to do my make up and keep it more natural. I like to think I am not high maintaince but it is kind of nice taking that time to be high mantiance. My son is not suffering for it any and in fact will do better with things when mom takes time for herself and models a strong person who takes care of herself.
Next is the subject of men...I am sick of going to weddings and watching my friends have babies. Yes I am so happy for them when it comes to being a mother, it is the most awesome thing in the world. I little sad for myself that I didn't have a husban or boyfriend at my side when I had Connor. Going through the induction, twelve hours of labor and subsequent C-Section, it would have been nice to have more then my mother there. Don't get me wrong the experience brought my mother and I to a whole new level. She was there throught it all and I am grateful for that but still at the time I didn't allow myself dwell on the fact I was a static on many levels and how I let many people down including myself. But I knew my life would change and damn I am a totally different person and never thought being a mother would actually feel so natural. I am strong and confident when it comes to my parenting skills. I would love to have a man beside me but that hasn't been in the cards. I have dated a bit, but havent found that connection with anyone. I have met the desperate and the useless, but behold there is one who might actually be in the running (lol).
I have known him for many years now and has always stuck around when I did nothing but push him away even after I got pregnant by someone else. He knows my family and my parents like him. He adores my son and knows his father and have mutual friends. He gets me and knows what to do when I am stressing over the stupid shit. I don't want to think about where it could go because just when I think like that it never happens. At least I know no matter what happens we will still be friends.
Okay so I am jealous of my friends who are getting married and sentimental when it comes to those who are having babies. A little sad when I see those presious pictures of happy mother and beautiful baby. See I want another baby something fierce but want it be in a serious relationship or married when I have my second baby but I am so feeling that biological clock ticking and it is getting louder by the minute. Need I mention I am closing in on thirty!
Now my fingers are jello and wrists are killing me so it is time to close.
Congratulations to all my wonderful friends who put up with me who are getting married and having babies.
Here is my baby who now talks back and gives me attitude that took me many years to learn...
Now...
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