Grayson had a great first birthday! We went to my parents where he received multiple loud toys to throw and walk behind/ride, and big brother received a "me too" gift of a couple toy motorcycles. We had a wonderful home cooked dinner with cornish game hens, torilla soup, salad steamed veggies and fruit for dessert while Grayson had a homemade red velvet with chocolate frosting cake for dessert. It was literally from head to toe and in ears, up nose and down the diaper. lmao it was so freaking cute.
His father sent a letter wishing him happy birthday and how next year he hopes to be with mommy and that we can celebrate as a family. At this point I am not sure if that will be a reality, he still has about three months until he gets out of prison for his two counts of Forgery and Opiates charges that he plead no contest to in 2009, but never followed his probation. So in February he turned himself in and choose to do a solid four months in prison over a year of probation in hopes of finding favor in my heart as he said. Its a long history we have and times have been dark some because of his drug use and what it caused him to do. He has promised that he is done with the streets and that I need to give him a chance at proving to me that he is for real. He says he loves me and is pleased that Grayson turned out to be his, that he is a perfect symbol of how our hearts are one. blah blah blah
I dont know how much to believe if any of it. I want to believe he loves me as I do truly love him but the drugs ruined a lot of the trust I have in him, and wonder if his want to be home with me and the boys is stronger than the pull of the streets and easy money. He has a few job opportunities already lined up for when he gets home which he thinks is going to be my house. I have yet to agree to that.
Well enough about my jailbird boyfriend and baby daddy time to get to work since I am wasting time in the office.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
long time no post
So it has been a long time since I have been able to find the time to sit down and update this blog as often as I had planned since starting years ago when I had just Connor. But anyway, today Grayson James turns one year old, boy does time fly! It was just yesterday that I was loading up my Bonneville full of stuff for the stay at my parents house after haivng the baby and anxious to get checked in at the hospital. Afterall, I had everything planned down to the very minute that Grayson was going to be born. I scheduled the C-section after having an emergency one with Connor in 2004, had to give Grayson his own day since the first week there is one good friend that has her birthday, then on the 14th is Connor's sister's birthday along with another close friend of mine's and the 16th is Uncle Jason's birthday, the 22nd is my birthday and the 28th is Cousin Rachael's birthday. So the 12th was good and I didn't want to wait much longer than that even though I was showing no signs of going into labor once again with due date being the 14th.
So at noon they started the insision and by 12:13pm Grayson James Gollin was born 7lbs. 13oz 19 inches long, completely healthy. I was up walking five hours later and day and a half later at my parents house with my eldest being a spoiled mommy for a few days before returning to reality of having a pre-schooler and a new born all by myself morning, noon and night. It was an extreme difference between the two boys, Connor from day one slept no less than seven hours a night and Grayson slept no more than two. lol
Quickly got adjusted and here we are a year later :) he is now 19 lbs and 28 inches long and in 6-9 month clothes and a few one year items. Fits perfectly in his infant carrier but is starting to walk about four steps is all we get before plopping down. He just cut his top two teeth at once last week and has had his bottom ones for about five months now.
Connor Mason is the greatest and most caring big brother, he is quick to protect and teach his little brother. I most often have to race him to the crying baby in order to be the one comforting Grayson after a spill or a tantrum. Connor has taught Grayson how to throw a ball and stand up while has helped with the walking a bit. He is always reading to him and lecturing him in the car about saying "adult words" aka naughty words in songs when they pop up or when mommy lets one slip while driving in traffic. Telling him about his day in school and how he is going to love making new homies at school and how they will have special handshakes themselves when he gets big enough lol...always he makes me smile with how compassionate he is toward his brother.
Well one major thing that did happen in the first year of Grayson's life...I came clean to my family and friends with who his biological father really was. Kevin James Brooks Jr. is Grayson's father while Mack Jenkins Jr is Connor's father. Long story as to why this is a big deal but lets leave it with my mother nearly drove off the road when I told her while she was driving me home after picking me up from work after my Bonneville was stolen later found out it was Grayson's father who had it after copying a key. And my little sister pretends she never was told. My father just doesn't comment on the matter and we go about life as if it didn't matter they have fathers. They dont pay child support and Connor's father ruined his relationship with his son back in 2009 after breaking promises and stealing everything I owned including food, it damaged Connor's image of him and I cannot fix that only time and healing can. As far as Grayson's dad he is around at times and we have settled the whole stolen car thing while I bought a new Trailblazer and sold the Bonneville in the end. He sees his son when he is able to but no financial support is given as to why the boys both have my last name. Neither father is on the birth certificates, not unknown or anything just blank. You earn the right to be called father and in one case the court decleared it and that other he owned up to it but when you are not acting like a grown man how can you behave how a father should and be there for your children when you are running the streets so they most stay away and let me do my job that I love and would not trade for the world. Mommy to those boys is the best thing that ever happened to me and I wouldn't trade being a single mother for anything in the world. It isn't easy but I would have never known how strong I am and what I am truly capable of if it werent for having those two boys to raise on my own. Emotionally I have my family and friends support but all rest falls on my shoulders and I am standing tall.
Okay so now that I have vented and gotten alot off my chest I feel tons better. I promise to do better keeping this up to date and eventually more pictures but I put most everything on Facebook anyway. lol
So at noon they started the insision and by 12:13pm Grayson James Gollin was born 7lbs. 13oz 19 inches long, completely healthy. I was up walking five hours later and day and a half later at my parents house with my eldest being a spoiled mommy for a few days before returning to reality of having a pre-schooler and a new born all by myself morning, noon and night. It was an extreme difference between the two boys, Connor from day one slept no less than seven hours a night and Grayson slept no more than two. lol
Quickly got adjusted and here we are a year later :) he is now 19 lbs and 28 inches long and in 6-9 month clothes and a few one year items. Fits perfectly in his infant carrier but is starting to walk about four steps is all we get before plopping down. He just cut his top two teeth at once last week and has had his bottom ones for about five months now.
Connor Mason is the greatest and most caring big brother, he is quick to protect and teach his little brother. I most often have to race him to the crying baby in order to be the one comforting Grayson after a spill or a tantrum. Connor has taught Grayson how to throw a ball and stand up while has helped with the walking a bit. He is always reading to him and lecturing him in the car about saying "adult words" aka naughty words in songs when they pop up or when mommy lets one slip while driving in traffic. Telling him about his day in school and how he is going to love making new homies at school and how they will have special handshakes themselves when he gets big enough lol...always he makes me smile with how compassionate he is toward his brother.
Well one major thing that did happen in the first year of Grayson's life...I came clean to my family and friends with who his biological father really was. Kevin James Brooks Jr. is Grayson's father while Mack Jenkins Jr is Connor's father. Long story as to why this is a big deal but lets leave it with my mother nearly drove off the road when I told her while she was driving me home after picking me up from work after my Bonneville was stolen later found out it was Grayson's father who had it after copying a key. And my little sister pretends she never was told. My father just doesn't comment on the matter and we go about life as if it didn't matter they have fathers. They dont pay child support and Connor's father ruined his relationship with his son back in 2009 after breaking promises and stealing everything I owned including food, it damaged Connor's image of him and I cannot fix that only time and healing can. As far as Grayson's dad he is around at times and we have settled the whole stolen car thing while I bought a new Trailblazer and sold the Bonneville in the end. He sees his son when he is able to but no financial support is given as to why the boys both have my last name. Neither father is on the birth certificates, not unknown or anything just blank. You earn the right to be called father and in one case the court decleared it and that other he owned up to it but when you are not acting like a grown man how can you behave how a father should and be there for your children when you are running the streets so they most stay away and let me do my job that I love and would not trade for the world. Mommy to those boys is the best thing that ever happened to me and I wouldn't trade being a single mother for anything in the world. It isn't easy but I would have never known how strong I am and what I am truly capable of if it werent for having those two boys to raise on my own. Emotionally I have my family and friends support but all rest falls on my shoulders and I am standing tall.
Okay so now that I have vented and gotten alot off my chest I feel tons better. I promise to do better keeping this up to date and eventually more pictures but I put most everything on Facebook anyway. lol
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