Well, life has turned a bit on it's head over the last two weeks for me and my beautiful son. I had finally sat myself down to write a letter to the state attorney to ask him to get my case going through the court because this no child support thing is starting to take a toll on me. I went to check my mail and put the letter to the attorney in the drop box, thank goodness I checked the mail first. There it was the thick packet that was from the same attorney that I was just sending a letter to. I told myself this only tells me they were once again unable to serve Connor's father the Summons to appear or respond to the Petition for Paternity. But I was so off the mark that I almost fell over when I opened the packet. Slowly unfolded the massively thick paperwork and my mouth nearly hit the ground. It took a few times reading the black typed letters to really sink in what it was saying...Mack never responded to the summons therefore defaulting and agreeing with the court's findings of him being Connor's father. The order also included the beginning of child support and that they found him to Owe the state $1300 and me $1500. So I found out that once the findings are entered into the Kansas Child Support Payment Center his credit report will immediatily show that he is in default of a court order. He can't lease an apartment or get a loan.
So the other letter I wrote after the attoney's letter that was never mail was a letter short and sweet to Mack's Parents. It included a recent picture of Connor and told them that he is their grandson and they are welcome to meet him anytime. Then this week I received a call from Mack Senior asking to meet Connor and me. Then the same day I got a call from Mack Jr.'s (Connor's dad) girlfriend asking me to call her back. Long story short Mack is claiming he only just found out about Connor last week when in fact he knew from the same day I was pregnent. Girlfriend and Mom want a DNA test which I will not pay for in anyway because the chance to take one was given and Mack turned it down!
He is the only one now that hasn't meet his son when even his own parents have. I just don't understand that man and why he let this stay a secrect for so long and hurt those he loves like this. HIs parents have missed two and a half years of their only grandson's life for what reason other than their son was too pussy to stand up and take responsiblity for his actions. And now he is trying to make me a liar when it is him.
I am emotionally drained...I knew from the beginning I was going to have to explain to Connor Mason why his father wasn't around and I have been getting use to the idea of "daddy" never being around but now that might now be the fact after all. I am happy for Connor but Scared for him at the same time because I don't know how Mack will be toward him now.
Well I am actually going out tonight and have to get into the shower and get ready to go...Maybe I will post a picture of me up here all made up ready to go out :)
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Beautiful Days
This weekend weather was beautiful! After Religious services Connor and I went to my parents' house where dad was recoping from a back injection and Buggy was napping with Zadye. Connor and I got some toys outside and prepared the hose and yard for washing the car. We spent most of the afternoon outside and taking Buggy to do his business. Bubbe got Connor a red wagon that I have to get put together today so that when we come over tomorrow to wash Bubbe's Vue, we can take Buggy on a real walk and I can take Connor in the wagon and I am sure Buggy will spend a majority of the walk in the wagon too, spoiled little dog!
So things are good still, I have been hanging out more with some people I graduated high school with. She doesn't live too far from us so it is easy to get over there and our boys play well together and connor isn't afair of their Doberman Pincher which is great. We just found out Candace's twin sister is pregnant with Triplets! Yes she is totally freaked out but has so much support and friends to help out. Candace is always asking her husband if he knows of anyone to set me up with.
I haven't been out socially without Connor in many many months. I don't know if I have any identy outside of being Connor's mom and bread winner. I know I have a life in means of going to work and school and play dates with Connor. But I need to find myself.
Growing up I was "the Skater" until the end of middle school, then I was still the Skater, the outsider who knew everyone and was friends with everyone but never belonged to any one clique in high school. Then I thought I fell in love after graduation and was a broken damage shell of a person after the relationship fell apart. So, then I became the partier, the life of the party. The chick everyone wanted at the bar and when I wasn't at the bar I was in bed sleeping through the hang over. That was when I wan't working during the summer because I had my daddy wrapped around my finger to where I didn't have to work. But I worked little jobs like at tanning salons and such during that time. So, then I decide I am done with this and tired of being drunk and fighting with my parents and feeling empty, so back to school I was finally headed and that is when I found out before a shift at work that i was pregnant.
Life changed and I was no longer just Me but We and I could get lost in taking care of my child and learning how to be a good mother and not be bitter that he father was a total jerk and learned how to be sober.
I have just thrown myself into things so I don't have to think about how I feel because I don't feel anymore. I don't have any drama to make me mad, no man to shower with attention and cooking. I have a son to clean up after so the house is always too clean and he is tired of me by the end of the weekend. I don't even make him sleep in his own bed anymore because that way I have an excuse to not date or go out.
I am not really depressed just stuck! But reconnecting with old friends and making new ones at work is helping a bit and other friends making me come and see them because they understand helps a lot.
So things are good still, I have been hanging out more with some people I graduated high school with. She doesn't live too far from us so it is easy to get over there and our boys play well together and connor isn't afair of their Doberman Pincher which is great. We just found out Candace's twin sister is pregnant with Triplets! Yes she is totally freaked out but has so much support and friends to help out. Candace is always asking her husband if he knows of anyone to set me up with.
I haven't been out socially without Connor in many many months. I don't know if I have any identy outside of being Connor's mom and bread winner. I know I have a life in means of going to work and school and play dates with Connor. But I need to find myself.
Growing up I was "the Skater" until the end of middle school, then I was still the Skater, the outsider who knew everyone and was friends with everyone but never belonged to any one clique in high school. Then I thought I fell in love after graduation and was a broken damage shell of a person after the relationship fell apart. So, then I became the partier, the life of the party. The chick everyone wanted at the bar and when I wasn't at the bar I was in bed sleeping through the hang over. That was when I wan't working during the summer because I had my daddy wrapped around my finger to where I didn't have to work. But I worked little jobs like at tanning salons and such during that time. So, then I decide I am done with this and tired of being drunk and fighting with my parents and feeling empty, so back to school I was finally headed and that is when I found out before a shift at work that i was pregnant.
Life changed and I was no longer just Me but We and I could get lost in taking care of my child and learning how to be a good mother and not be bitter that he father was a total jerk and learned how to be sober.
I have just thrown myself into things so I don't have to think about how I feel because I don't feel anymore. I don't have any drama to make me mad, no man to shower with attention and cooking. I have a son to clean up after so the house is always too clean and he is tired of me by the end of the weekend. I don't even make him sleep in his own bed anymore because that way I have an excuse to not date or go out.
I am not really depressed just stuck! But reconnecting with old friends and making new ones at work is helping a bit and other friends making me come and see them because they understand helps a lot.
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